Lost in the illusion - It's a wonderful world

July 20, 2014

Marriages and Fantasy Photo Albums

There is enormous pressure on Chinese youngster’s to marry. In a society that is still driven by traditional Confucian ethos, despite the enormous cultural discontinuity wrought by Mao, marriage (and children) is a fundamental duty of a person towards his family and society. Given all the changes over the years, with the loss of traditional and informal avenues, many alternate methods have sprung up. Dating events (Shanghai Line 2 Metro users dating event anyone!), ‘Marriage Markets’ – spaces in parks that are taken over by parents seeking a prospective spouse for their (often only) child, on-line sites and top end ‘love hunter’ services… the range of possibilities is enormous.

For a society where ‘face’ guides and drives social interactions, China can be downright cruel towards people that are perceived to have failed to secure themselves a mate. Women over 27 that have not found themselves a mate are known as ‘Sheng Nu’. Ditto, men are known as ‘Bare Branches’. Given the demographic and geographic complexity that characterizes China ‘Sheng Nu’ are more likely to be highly educated urban women, whereas ‘bare branches’ are more likely to be rural, un-educated, farmers or lower classes. So the ‘Sheng Nu’ cannot marry the ‘Bare Branches’

But of course, ’sheng nu’ and ‘bare branches’ don’t tell the full story. Even average man; let’s say in Shanghai, it is not easy to get married unless he possesses an apartment, a car and a good job. My Ayi, proud mother of a son, who by her accounts is a very diligent student and has done her proud by securing top marks earning a place in one of the top universities, is worried for his future. She says she has no money to get her son a house and fears when his time comes, she might let him down by not being able to get him a separate house. My younger colleagues, junior managers at an MNC, joke that they actually work for the bank - having taken out 30 year long mortgages on housing.

The pressure on both sexes to get married is enormous. But then Chinese youngsters are not without an entrepreneurial spirit or a sense of humour. As can happen only in China, there was a trend last year during spring festival (where couples are expected to visit their parents, which set of parents to visit is another story altogether) young men and women offered themselves to act as partners to others so as to ward off pressure from their families about finding a suitable mate.

I suppose that’s the reason those that have found a spouse or a mate try to capture their impending nuptials in as many photos as possible. Whenever you go to the more picturesque parts of China you always encounter young couples in the throes of creating their wedding albums. When you visit young couples you will find that the living room is invariably dominated by one of these ‘fantasy’ pictures that have been shot prior to the wedding. A whole industry of wedding photography has sprung to cater to these needs. In other cultures while wedding photography really refers to capturing images of the big event per se, In China it all starts off by creating fantasy photo albums ....